I love you Nan...

This past week we lost Nan, Luke's maternal Grand Mother. She was 79 and in poor health for the past 10 or so years. It wasn't a surprise she passed, but no matter what, it is a pain you are never ready for. I am aware that everyone feels their family members are special, but Nan was extraordinary in many ways. I remember the first time I met her, about 9 and a half years ago now, maybe even more the way time tends to fly. I was nervous around Luke's family, I always felt like my hard past was tattooed on my head to warn everyone of my troubles. The day I met Nan that feeling changed in me. I walked into Aunt Joey's house and sat at the table with Luke and Nan came in. She looked at me with such immediate acceptance and a genuine interest in what made me tick. She complimented me on my hair and skin and was so genuine about it...I'd never felt as instantly comfortable with anyone in my life. I learned that day that she was an Upstate NY-er too, from Massena, NY, a place even colder than my hometown of Rome. She had so much positive energy in her I couldn't help but feel good about life after a chat with her. The thing I loved most was her ability to be real. She never minced words about her feelings with me, never feared that the strength of her convictions would be met with resistance, she may be the one person I have met in my life who felt things as strongly as I do. For better or worse, she felt it, strong and deep.

I feel the loss of her deep. I will remeber her with strength and use her memory to keep my family strong, because nothing meant more to her, and nothing is deeper.